Tuesday 18th August 2015

It’s 3am in the morning so it’s technically Wednesday not Tuesday, I can’t get to sleep and I can’t concentrate on my book because I cannot switch off my brain. I am still struggling with my physical health as well as my mental health and my stress levels are going through the roof because I don’t what the right thing to do is.  

Phoning the GI doctors is probably the right thing to do but if the pelvic and hip pain is just being caused by the adhesions then there is nothing they can really do for them. If I was to go into hospital then I can’t pack and sort stuff out for moving in a week and a halves time. I know I live with my parents and they could pack for me but they have their own things to do, it’s not just the packing though there is Snowball to think about as well. We have made the decision to put her in the cattery from Friday morning to the Sunday morning but I really want to be here for her when she comes home, I hope that she does not become too stressed.


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Sunday 16th August 2015

So my health has decided that it wants to cause even more problems than it normally does. Originally I put it down to hormones because I always feel icky when I get those times of the months but I think there might be something else going on even people, are starting to notice which is saying something. Over the years I have become very good at hiding how ill I am (thank god I for makeup) but it’s really hard to hide glassy, staring eyes.

Today the cramps have been quite low down in my stomach and it feels like I always need to go to the loo to pass urine even though I have just been. I have been taking my normal pain medication but it doesn’t help lessen the pain, thankfully heat does help so I think I will be spending a lot of time in the bath and have my heating pad on full blast.

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Tuesday 11th August 2015

So it’s been a week since our phone and broadband was cut off and it doesn’t look like it will be switched back on anytime soon despite my mother phoning them every day. It’s really ridiculous how my parents have been treated by this service provider; they have been with this company for 35 years and never missed a payment. My mum even explained to them how I had multiple health problems and require access to a phone at all times because if my health deteriorates I need to get in touch with the hospital, GP or even an ambulance ASAP but even that didn’t seem to make a difference.

It really is going to be a bummer that our internet won’t be back up and running before we move as I had planned to write a number of posts for my Being A Chronically Beautiful Girl and A Crohn’s Life blogs and then schedule them to upload when we moved because it will likely take a wee while for the internet to be set up in the new house. All I can really do now is write down the drafts on paper and when we get the broadband back type them up and post them.

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Saturday 8th August 2015

I have been struggling really badly with depression since Wednesday and it’s all due to our internet being cut off, how sad is that? I never realised how much speaking to other chronic illness warriors on Twitter and Facebook helped me, it definitely makes me feel less alone and isolated. There is something else that it has made me realise and that is I spend way too much time on sites like YouTube and World of Tanks. It needs to stop, I love to read and make things so I should be doing that instead of being on the internet all the time. When did I become one of these people who sits on the computer all the time? That’s right when the shit hit the fan and I became agoraphobic.

The final thing that having no internet has made me realise is I only have a couple of friends outwith the internet world. I can only blame myself for having no friends, I tend to avoid speaking to people because they always like to ask questions like how are you doing and honestly that is my most hated question because try as they might people without a chronic illness do not understand what we go through. People like myself with Crohn’s will never get better unless there is a cure and even if there is a cure the damage has already been done to our bodies.

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Friday 17th July 2015

So there are two main things happening with me at the moment can you guess what they are? If you guessed Crohn’s problems and anxiety then you would be right. The last thing that I need now is worsening health problems because I need to go through all my stuff and get it packed up for moving in 6 week’s time.  

My main issues at the moment are fevers and really bad fatigue. The fevers aren’t too big of an issue for me because they happen so much these days and usually after a couple of doses of paracetamol it settles down but when it comes to fatigue there is no medication to make it better.

I decided to treat myself to some new books this week because when we move house in August we are going to be without internet for a while which means I am going to have plenty time on my hands because I will not be able to work on any of my blogs. I purchased 5 books with 4 of them being fantasy books as I am trying to broaden my horizons when it comes to the types of books that I read. 

I mainly read what you would call Chick-lit books but when I am on goodreads or book tube (YouTube channels about books) I see so many people raving and recommending fantasy books so they must be worth reading.

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Saturday 5th July 2015

So I am finally able to tell you all that I am going to be moving house at the end of August, woohoo!!!!! 

I am still going to be living with my parents but hey what can you do when you are chronically ill and unemployed. I know that I sometimes complain about living at home with my parents but I honestly think I wouldn't be able to cope living by myself because on my sick days I can hardly do anything and it takes me all my time to go to the loo or take my medication when I am like that. I also don't think I would be happy living in on my own, as much as I love peace and quiet I am also one of these people who has to have some face to face interaction every day because if I don't those lonely feelings start to kick in. 

I have decided that I am going to treat this moving house like a fresh start. I have lived in this current house since I was 9 years old, I was living in this house when diagnosed with Crohn's and when I was at my sickest so there is a lot of bad memories here but there is some good memories too so it will be sad to leave. 

The thing that I most looking forward to about moving is my bedroom has an en-suite which is frickin awesome. Every house I have lived in since I was born has only had one bathroom and if you are a fellow IBDer you will understand how much of a problem this is but it will be a problem no more after August. 

Previous post -  Monday 15th June                                 
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Monday 15th June 2015

So I took a drastic measure this week to help with my toothache, I took some metronidazole (antibiotics) that I found in the cupboard. I know you should not do things like that but I was in so much pain and I was really starting to think that I had developed an abscess. The funny thing is I took one tablet a day for a couple of days and by Friday the pain had completely disappeared..

Of course because I was feeling so down in the dumps with the toothache I turned to my guaranteed pick me up, online shopping. For a while now I have been thinking about getting back into painting and drawing so I purchased sketching pencils, charcoal, watercolour paints, paint brushes and watercolour paint paper. 

I am not amazing at art which I think is one of the reasons why I stopped but the thing is I find it very therapeutic, I become so engrossed with what I am doing that I forget about the pain and stress going on in my life. If you are struggling I recommend that you give art a go.


I also made another purchase this past week.

This is the very first time I have purchased an iPhone and I have to admit it took me a long time to make the decision to buy this phone because it was £539! I have always been an android girl but because I always hear people raving about the iPhone it has made me want to try at least one in my lifetime. I have now had the phone for 3 days and I am really happy with it but of course it is still early days but at the moment I wouldn't go back to an android.  


Previous post - Monday 9th June 2015                                      
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Disclaimer: What I did was wrong you should never take medication unless it is prescribed by your doctor. So don't take unprescribe medication.