I'm back

Well hello there it's been a very long time since I last posted on here and I am sorry about that but for some reason I just couldn't write a blog post. I have no idea why it happened it wasn't like I didn't have any ideas I just couldn't write things down and when I did force myself to write a blog post it just didn't make any sense.

I am pleased to announce that I have got my blogging mojo back and my brain is brimming with ideas so that means there will be new blog posts coming your way on all my of blogs.

Well that's it for today's post I know it's a short one but I just wanted to let you all know that you will be seeing new blog posts in the future so until next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜

Saturday 16th April 2016

So I had my last horse riding lesson before D-Day (dental surgery). I am so glad that I was able to make it this week because after falling off Hamish two weeks ago I really wanted to get back in the saddle before my surgery as I don't know how long I will not be able to ride for after my operation.

Today I got to ride a new pony called Dougal who is a beautiful Highland.

This was my very first time riding a Highland and my first time riding a different pony, in previous lessons I was always ridden Hamish but I was struggling so my riding instructor thought I would be better riding Dougal. They are complete opposites, Hamish is more of a plod a long and because I am still quite weak at the moment it is hard for me to get him going. Dougal on the other hand is so responsive and forward going, the slightest squeeze of the leg and his pace speeds up, the slightest pull on the reins he slows down.

My anxiety and stress levels have been on the rise this week with the upcoming surgery, I have actually been told that the symptoms that I display are like PTSD and yes I have been through some traumatic hospital stays over the years but I don't think I have PTSD. 

Thankfully this week my physical health has improved, the stomach cramps, horrendous sickness and elevated temperature have all settled. I was starting to get concerned that they would not do the  surgery if I was unwell, I certainly don't want to go back on the waiting list and wait another 7 months. 


Previous post: Sunday 10th April

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Monday 15th June 2015

So I took a drastic measure this week to help with my toothache, I took some metronidazole (antibiotics) that I found in the cupboard. I know you should not do things like that but I was in so much pain and I was really starting to think that I had developed an abscess. The funny thing is I took one tablet a day for a couple of days and by Friday the pain had completely disappeared..

Of course because I was feeling so down in the dumps with the toothache I turned to my guaranteed pick me up, online shopping. For a while now I have been thinking about getting back into painting and drawing so I purchased sketching pencils, charcoal, watercolour paints, paint brushes and watercolour paint paper. 

I am not amazing at art which I think is one of the reasons why I stopped but the thing is I find it very therapeutic, I become so engrossed with what I am doing that I forget about the pain and stress going on in my life. If you are struggling I recommend that you give art a go.


I also made another purchase this past week.

This is the very first time I have purchased an iPhone and I have to admit it took me a long time to make the decision to buy this phone because it was £539! I have always been an android girl but because I always hear people raving about the iPhone it has made me want to try at least one in my lifetime. I have now had the phone for 3 days and I am really happy with it but of course it is still early days but at the moment I wouldn't go back to an android.  


Previous post - Monday 9th June 2015                                      
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Disclaimer: What I did was wrong you should never take medication unless it is prescribed by your doctor. So don't take unprescribe medication.

Monday 8th June 2015

I am absolutely exhausted x 2, my parents were away from Saturday until today so that meant I was looking after my younger sister with Down's Syndrome and of course I had Miss Snowball the cat to look after too. I don't mind looking after my sister but every time I seem to look after her I am finding it more tiring, I really hope that this is just a sign of worsening anaemia and not something that is going to become permanent because that is going to be a serious issue.

Over the weekend I also developed this horrendous toothache or should I say root ache because that's all I have left of my top front teeth. The pain wasn't that bad on Saturday and it cleared up after one dose of paracetamol but I woke up in the early hours of Sunday morning in terrible pain and despite taking the maximum of dose of pain meds the pain is still there. I think it must be over a month now since I asked my dentist to refer me to the maxillofacial department to get these roots removed at the hospital but I haven't heard anything from either of them but that's not unusual when it comes to the National Health Service.


Previous post - Sunday 31st June                                           
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Sunday 31st May 2015

This week has been rough to the point that I nearly caved in and phoned the hospital so that shows you how bad things have been because this girl goes no where near a hospital unless I am really unwell or in extreme pain. You would actually think that after 15 and 1/2 years I wouldn't be so freaked out about going into hospital but I will happily admit that I am a big scaredy cat when it comes to going in. 

The main problem that I have been having are related to this stupid small bowel to cervix fistula, it has been leaking a good bit more so I am really hoping that it hasn't opened up a bit more again. It is really horrible when you move because it feels like you have peed yourself and even though people can't see it and can't see that it is leaking I get extremely embarrassed by it. I must always try to remember to stay positive and grateful because there is people in this world who have much worse fistulas then me. I have heard so many horrible stories and met some people who have it way worse and it really upsets me to see and hear what all these people are going through. 


Previous post - Sunday 24th May                                               
                                                                                                     Next post - Monday 8th June

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Wednesday: 25th February 2015

I took the plunge today and ordered 2 wigs. I don't actually think I have ever mentioned this before but guess what! Crohn's has also made me loose a lot of my hair, this illness is a big bitch, it's classed as a digestive disorder so why can't it just effect my digestive system only. Sorry, I totally got off the hair loss subject there.

Okay so back on to my hair, I can only remember one time that my hair was really thin like this and that was when I had the large bowel abscess, active Crohn's disease in every part of my digestive track and was severely malnourished. I am not really sure why it has got this thin again but it has so this time round I have decided to buy a wig. It's taking me about month to make the decision to buy a wig because I didn't want to admit to myself that my hair was that bad and I was that sick again because as you all know by now I don't class myself as sick person and I never want any special treatment. Sorry I have gotten off tangent again. The more I thought about the wigs I started to think they are a really good idea. I love the whole bright coloured hair but I have never had the courage to dye it bright because a) my hair probably wouldn't cope with the bleaching process and b) I change my mind every day because I am such indecisive person, so if I get a few wigs that means that I can alternate my hair colour everyday. 

I was originally going to a wig that was over £80 but when I told my mum of my plans she said that maybe I should buy a cheaper wig to start with because what if I didn't like it and I ended up spending all that money on something that would only be used once. Of course she is right so I have went onto a few websites and I finally decided on these two. 

I decided on neutral ones to start with because they are the ones that I will probably get the most use out of, the 2nd one is actually really like my own hair. I really do hope they will be okay because some wigs can look really crap.


Previous post - Monday 23rd February                                                         
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Tuesday 3rd February 2015

It has been a little while since I last wrote because I ended up getting a stupid cold which in turn set off a Crohn's flare but today was my birthday so nothing to bring down my mood. 

This year I turned the grand old age of 27 which sounds like a really nice age to me, if I could stop aging now then that would be great, lol. Each year I normally have to buy my own birthday gifts but this year I didn't have to which was nice because I always love to get a surprise when I open my presents.

Of course a birthday wouldn't be complete without a birthday cake and this year I managed to eat 2 slices of cake :) 

I honestly thought that I would not be able to eat any cake this year because at the moment I only seem to be able to eat thin pureed food with no lumps at all but I was really careful when I ate the slices so it went down with no major problems. 


Previous post - Thursday 22nd January                                                                  
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Tuesday 12th January 2015

So I have been given the opportunity to write a guest blog post for one of my favourite charities, the Cat's Protection. For Blue Monday (January 19th) the Cat's Protection are doing posts on the health benefits of a cat and their purr. I have to admit I am very nervous but I am also very excited because it will be the very first guest blog post that I have ever written so I really, really, really hope they like it. When it comes to writing I am not exactly very confident (plus I am very bad at criticising myself) but that is all due to what happened when I was at High School. I was off school a lot after being diagnosed with Crohn's because a) I was sick and b) I was badly bullied because I was different and overweight due to being on steroids, so when at school I was treated as the waste of space kid. I was always having difficultly with writing and numbers but it was all due to me being dyslexic, actually the first time I ever heard of dyslexia was after I left school. Despite all these confidence issues I really do want to write this post because without the Cat's Protection I would have never got my little bug Snowball, she is one of the best things to ever happen in my life.

Today I also took the plunge and decided to buy myself a makeup artist case. This is the year that I have decided to put makeup work out there. I am not sure how easy it will be to become a freelance makeup artist because I don't have any certificates and in this day and age everybody needs to have qualifications regardless of what skills they have. The one thing about me is I am determined, passionate, hard working and stubborn so if I want to do something I will do it.

Previous post - Friday 9th January                                                                    
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Thursday 18th December 2014

So since last Friday night I have been having the most horrendous chest pain again, it has got to one of the most horrible things about having oesophageal Crohn's (the other horrible thing is the stricture's). The type of pain that I always get is a crushing pain and it always goes from my diaphragm up to my collarbone but the one funny thing about it is that it doesn't make me short of breath. Maybe it's a good thing that it doesn't make me short of breath because that means that it is definitely not heart or lung related. 

At the end of last week, I delivered the Christmas food donation to my local cats protection and I was was very sad to learn that they are completely full. It really does make me very sad to hear that all these cats have no permanent home, without the cat's protection I would never have found the prefect cat for me. I would have another couple of cats in a heartbeat but I live in the family home and even though my parents love Snowball to bits they to do not want any more pets.

So Christmas came early for me this week and I got a Kitchen Aid mixer in the colour that I wanted!!! Crystal Blue.

I have been wanting this mixer for a very, very, very long time now and getting my hands on this baby means I can finally start baking again. I haven't been able to bake for such a long time now because all I had was a 20 year old hand held mixer and for a good while now I haven't had the physical strength to use it (if I did want to bake I had to rely on somebody to help me). I have already decided on two recipes that I am going to make, I plan to make mince pie cakes this weekend and then a Gingerbread Christmas cake for Christmas day. Even though I will not be able to eat the cakes myself I still love to bake, which I know sounds really weird but seeing family and friends enjoy my baking makes me very happy. 


Previous post -  Thursday 11th December                                                                                                                                                                                 Next post - 

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Thursday 11th December 2014

So the physical health problems are worse but my mental health issues are getting better which for me is the main thing because if my mental health is good it makes fighting the Crohn's and Dysphagia so much easier because I have lots of fighting spirit. About 4 weeks ago I decided to start reducing the dose of my anti-depressants but it's only now that I have started to notice the difference. I am starting to feel much more positive about life which is really good because I was honestly spending most of the time thinking why am I bothering with life, what is the point of life, now if the whole anxiety/agoraphobia issue thing could improve too then I would be extremely happy.

This week has so far been pretty rough with the Crohn's, on Monday I had an even higher stoma output then normal and I was feeling really sick, so sick to the point that I thought about draining off my stomach contents through my PEG tube because having these stricture's obviously means that I cannot be sick in the normal way. In the end I decided not to do it because I thought I am badly dehydrated already and I wasn't gagging or retching so my oesophagus wasn't in any danger of being injured. Thankfully things have slowly improved since Monday but the grumpy guts still like to throw a paddy every now and then. 

On Sunday I placed a rather large ordered from Pets at Home and it arrived today which I think was pretty quick for this time of year.

They were doing some great deals so I decided to take full advantage of them. I should probably say that all this food is not for my little furball, it is for my Local Cats Protection but Snowball did think it was all for her, lol. 

Every Christmas I like to make a food donation to my local cats protection as a thank you to them because without them I would never have got such a wonderful, loving cat. Without Snowball I would be very lost, she keeps me company when I am feeling ill and she makes me laugh when I feel depressed. 



Previous post -  Saturday 6th December                                                                                                                                                                 Next post - Thursday 18th December

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