I'm back

Well hello there it's been a very long time since I last posted on here and I am sorry about that but for some reason I just couldn't write a blog post. I have no idea why it happened it wasn't like I didn't have any ideas I just couldn't write things down and when I did force myself to write a blog post it just didn't make any sense.

I am pleased to announce that I have got my blogging mojo back and my brain is brimming with ideas so that means there will be new blog posts coming your way on all my of blogs.

Well that's it for today's post I know it's a short one but I just wanted to let you all know that you will be seeing new blog posts in the future so until next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜

Wednesday 27th December 2017

Well today has been one those days where I needed to take care of the essentials, these are not my favourite type of days but they need to be done to so I can have better health. Better health = being able to do everything I want.

So today was an early start as I had appointment at the health centre to get bloods done at 8.40am. Before Christmas I phoned the IBD nurse because my anemia has got so bad that I can no longer wait for the portacath to be placed. I have tried to take the Ferrous Fumarate tablets that they have always prescribed in the past but my stomach and bowels does not like them tablets at all.

With it being the week between Christmas and New Year people didn't want to see the doctor so I managed to score myself a doctors appointment for that afternoon. I didn't just manage to get one appointment, I manage to a get two and having a double appointment meant I could get all my issues seen too. 

For the longest time now I have had this problem with my right shoulder, it's not the easiest thing to describe, I don't really get pain as such it's just really uncomfortable and it doesn't stay in the one place it goes down to the bicep. The best way to describe it is my shoulder is being pulled out of it's socket, I take paracetamol and dihydrocodiene but it doesn't seem to work and now I am at the point where I can't cope with it anymore plus it's taking it's toll on my mental health too. The GP did numerous things but he couldn't really say what it was, I had full range of mobility and more because I am hyper mobile. He decided to give me a prescription for diclofenac gel which I am concerned about using because it is a NSAID (anti-infammatory medication) and if you have Crohn's you are not suppose to use NSAID's. I did mention to him that people with IBD are not suppose to take NSAID's but he says as it's going on to the skin so it won't be absorbed into the body but I am still not a 100% sure if it is a good idea to use it. 



Well that is it for this post, take care everyone and til next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜

previous post: Thursday 16th March 2017

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Thursday 16th March 2017

Well what can I say it was a disastrous day.

Today I was suppose to have a dentist appointment because my top set of false teeth (dentures) doesn't fit properly but there was a family emergency which meant I couldn't get a lift. My grandma has had this cellulitis infection for a little bit now but she had to go to the doctor this morning and they wanted her to go into hospital urgently because the they thought she might have a deep vein thrombosis. As some of may know a deep vein thrombosis can be a life threatening problem so it was more important that my mum took my Grandma to the hospital instead of me to the dentist. I am glad to report though that the tests game back and she got all the clear which means a massive weight has been lifted.

I wish I could have said that was the worst part of my day but it wasn't. As many of you know I have dyspahgia (swallowing disorder) due to a Crohn's stricture in my oesophagus so for that reason I eat a pureed diet. Well for a while now I have been pureeing pot noodles in a small blender and they have always gone down with no problems until this evening. I was eating sweet and sour one and there was a piece of pepper that hadn't blended properly which is now lodged either at the top of my stricture or further down. I have had things get stuck before because that's what can happen when you have a stricture but I have never had an issue getting it to pass or come back up until tonight. I have tried so hard to make it come back up and I have tried drinking fizzy juice but the juice won't pass so I have to bring it back up too, at this point I am now out of ideas and all I can hope for is it moves by it's self. 

Well that is it for this post, take care everyone and til next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜

previous post: Losing my best friend

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Losing my best friend, October/November 2016

Well, well it's been a a while and so much has happened since October last year. 

Life has gone from losing my best friend (my cat), struggling with depression, adopting a new kitten, starting a new relationship and overcoming a number of hurdles. This blog post will be the first in a series of 3 which are going to be catch up posts and then after that I will be back to normal. 

Now let's go all the way back to October 2016. October has always been one of those months that I have hated because for some reason a lot of bad things happen in October, which I am not going to list because we would be here for a very long time.

In October my beautiful cat Snowball got sick with what we thought was just a cold but after a couple of weeks she wasn't getting better. Due to her not improving I decided to take her to the vet and they put her on medication to help her get better but Snowball didn't get better she just kept getting worse. Her breathing was noisy, she wasn't eating as much or really drinking either so we took Snowball back to the vet but there wasn't really anything they could do for her so an urgent referral was made to specialist vet. 

We were able to get her to the specialist quickly and at that initial appointment they decided that she would need a CT scan of her skull because they really wanted to have a look her nasal passages. So on Tuesday at 11am Snowball was dropped off and they did the CT scan which showed up a mass, which of course they decided to take a biopsy of to obviously find out what it was. Due to having Snowball's scan and biopsy done in the late afternoon they kept her in overnight and gave her fluids to rehydrated her so when she came home the following day she  was actually doing a bit better but it didn't last. 

By the Friday we had the results back from the scan and it was the worst news it could be, Snowball had an aggressive form of cancer. The scan had obviously shown the mass but it had also shown that it had eaten away at the bone as well and the vet had strong suspicions that it had spread to her spine because she was becoming very wobbly on her legs as well. 

I was absolutely heartbroken and I didn't want to lose my best friend but I had to do the right for her, she wasn't going to get any better, the cancer was just going to eat away at the rest of her skull, she was in pain, she couldn't eat, she couldn't drink and she wasn't going to be able to walk either. So the following day Saturday 12th of November I said goodbye to my best friend. 

"I am going to miss you more then words can say, you are my best friend, my baby, your the best cat that I could ask for. When I was sad you always do something funny, when I would cry you would lick the tears from my face, when I couldn't sleep you would always keep you company, you saved my life on many occasions. My heart is broken and I don't know what I am going to do without you."

I made the decision to have Snowball cremated so I have her ashes on my bookcase in a nice sunny spot because she loved to sunbathe. 

Well that is it for this post,sorry that is has been so long since my last one but I really did need a break. Take care everyone and til next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜

previous post: Sunday 25th September

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Monday 3rd October 2016

Today has been one hell of a day and one that I wish I could just erase from my memory forever.

I don't think I mentioned in any of my previous posts but today I was suppose to go into hospital for a oesophgeal dilation and peg tube replacement but I ended up discharging myself about 5 1/2 hours after being admitted. 

The reason why I discharged myself from hospital was due to them having none of procedures that I was going in for booked which meant I had no idea how long I would have to sit there in hospital for, it could have been a week, 2 weeks, a month. 

For a number of years now the oesophageal dilations have been done under x-ray guidance due to them being unable to get the endoscopy scope and guide wire past the stricture's. At interventional radiology they have access to these teeny tiny balloons because they do procedure's like angioplasty and renal stents plus it is a safer way to do it because they use contrast and can see the whole area with there x-ray machine. The other thing was if they can’t the peg tube up my oesophagus then the only way to get it is out through surgery and we all know my past history with wound problems. I also won’t be getting the same tube as I have now either and this other tube is known to fall out sometimes. None of what was happening was explained to me before I went in so I was under the impression that I was going in and getting it done the next day under x-ray guidance. Due to me being bombarded with all this I had ended up having a breakdown and it also triggered suicidal thoughts so I just had to get out of there. One of my main triggers for my anxiety is not knowing when things are being done or not knowing what is going on so this ends up triggering anxiety/panic attacks, I have been very open with my anxiety and what triggers it but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Even though I am at home now I have still been having anxiety attacks which are getting less and thankfully the suicidal thoughts have stopped now. I have a really horrible feeling already that what has happened today has caused me to go backwards with the agoraphobia, only time will tell I suppose. 

Well that is it for this post, take care everyone and til next time keep strong and keep fighting. 💗💙💚💛💜


previous post: Sunday 25th September

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Groups I have set up for my chronically ill family
The IBD family facebook group
Spoonie bookworms goodreads group
Spoonie warrior gamers steam group
Chronically ill and disabled equestrian's facebook group

Sunday 25th Setember 2016

Today has been an absolute disaster for me. I was suppose to be going to Redwing Riding School for a few hours to spend time and groom the horses and ponies but my stomach decided that it was going to play up, sometimes I really think that it does it on purpose. I love the riding school that I am at but the toilets are quite far away from where the school actually is, it's maybe a mile that goes uphill slightly. My biggest fear like every other person with IBD is not being able to get to the toilet in time and with the way my anxiety is it would probably cause me to have a panic attack plus the amount of times I would have trek back and forth to the toilet would just be too much. The good news is there is a toilet going to be installed at the riding school so that means I will be able to spend some time there even if my stomach is just acting up a bit amount. 

Another thing that hasn't gone too well is my teeth. It's not all bad the bottom set is completely fine, I can speak normally and drink with them in but due to my oesophageal stricture's I am not eating with them in for fear that I choke myself, have to bring stuff back up and they end up in falling down the toilet, lol. The top set of teeth on the other hand does not want to stay in though which is a real pest. They stayed in fine the day that I got them but ever since then they will not stay in, I have even been using fixodent which is an adhesive but no success. My dentist told me that the set that was likely to cause me the most problems is the bottom one but as usual I never do things the easy way, I have a review appointment with the dentist next week so hopefully I can get it sorted out.  

One good thing did happen this week and that was I got my new glasses. I should have had my eyes tested many years ago but due to the agoraphobia I never did get them tested until 6 weeks ago. It didn't take 6 weeks for them to be ready it's just that my anxiety kept getting the better of me and it took me a while to overcome it. As it had been 6 years since I last got myself new frames I decided to treat myself to pair and this time I decided to try a new look. For a very long time now I have always gone with black rectangular type frames but this time I decided to add a bit of colour. 

This pair are by a Danish company called Kliik and the frames iare the 536 in the colour fuschia black. I don't know if this happens in other countries but a lot of opticians in the UK including the one that I went to do the buy one get one free, so I took full advantage of this and got myself a pair of sunglasses too. 

I honestly can not remember who these ones are made by but there is a name on the leg says Rowan.

Well that is it for this post and I am sorry that it is a long one but I had so much that I wanted to write about. 

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Wednesday 22nd September 2016

Well hello everyone it's been a while and I am sorry about that but I went through a really bad period with my depression, one of the worst that I have had in a good few years. Thankfully I am doing better at the moment and hopefully that will continue for a while yet. 

I really wanted to write a post today because 5 months after I had to have my Crohn's destoryed teeth removed I finally got my new teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the rubbish photo

So these teeth are just your traditional dentures because implants were not going to be suitable for me due to me being a high infection risk and having weaker bones. I am extremely pleased with how they have been made, the colour of the teeth and not beingperfectly straight makes them look so realistic. It really has been well worth all the anxiety causing problems and complications.

So these are what they look like when they are not in my mouth.

Due to me having such a small mouth the top set only has 10 teeth and the bottom has 11. It probably doesn't look that small in this picture but if I were to lay my dads false teeth next to mine it would show how small they are. Also due to me having an under bite instead of an overbite the top set had to be built up so that they met edge to edge so that's another reason why it took so long to get them. I was told by my dentist that I can wear the top one as much as I want but the bottom one I have to wear sparingly to start with and then build up. I am going to admit that they do feel pretty weird though and kind of bulky but I am sure that once I wear them more I won't even notice they are there.

That is all for today's, hopefully it won't be long until my next post. If you want to follow me on any of my other social media then just click on the links below, until next time folks. :-) x

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Monday 1st August 2016

Where do I begin, there is so many good and exciting things that have happened since my last blog post on here that I don't know where to begin, em lets start with my health.

So my physical health is what I like to call stable things aren't any better or worse. The 2 stricture's in my oesophagus are still causing the same old issues such as crushing pain in my chest that spreads up to my collar bone but I am still able to eat pureed food which is the main thing because if I couldn't eat pureed food I would probably be on TPN which I don't want. As for my stomach I still have good days and bad days but I got very good news at my last clinic appointment and that is the pelvic MRI scan that I had done in November showed that my small bowel to cervical fistula has healed up by itself. I am not a 100% sure but I think that it is quite rare for fistulas to heal up without some intervention. 

A few weeks ago I had a IBD clinic appointment and nothing new happened because nearly everything that was discussed at October appointment had not been carried out. I did find out what happened to the portacath procedure though, someone had decided that I didn't need it more! I was really mad at this because they are not the ones that have to be stabbed a billion times with a needles to get blood tests and cannula's. I have also not been able to get my iron infusion because I didn't have the port, the doctor that I seen at the clinic said that he would sort it out so I will be getting it at some point. Two other things that happened at the appointment is they are going to send me for a small bowel MRI study and organise to have my disgusting old peg tube replaced under a general anesthetic.

I am still currently waiting to get my false teeth. I had to cancel an appointment because I was sick and then my dentist had to cancel an appointment due to him being sick so it's taking longer then expected. I really hope that I will be able to get them in the next few weeks.

Also since I last wrote I have finally decided to take the plunge and set up an etsy store so I can sell a variety of handmade things. For a long time now I have been wanting to set up my own store but the reason why I haven't done it is I am scared that I will fail at it. In dream world I would earn enough money to call it my job and get off the benefit system but I find that luck is never really on my side.

That is all for today's post, sorry that it's a long one I just had so much to write about. Goodbye for now. 


Previous post: Thursday 23rd June

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