So a lot has been happening since I have last posted on here, so lets begin.
Since I last posted I have had all my teeth removed or should I say the 25 that I had left and on boy that was not fun. After having 2 ostomy surgeries, teeth removed and many other procedures I honestly didn't think that it would be that bad but boy I was wrong. Everything started out well, instead of being 5th on the list I was bumped up to 3rd because some people didin't turn up and the anaesthetist managed to get her hands on a paediatric cannula which was so awesome, it was when I woke up afterwards that things went really bad. I was told that they would load me up with local anaesthetic so that I wouldn't be in to much pain when I woke up but that was not the case, when I came round I was in sooooooooooo much and I ended up getting 10mg of morphine through the cannula. Despite getting all that morphine I was still pain, the only time I have ever been still in quite a bit of pain after an op was when I had my ostomy surgeries, I was suppose to be discharge home that evening but thankfully I wasn't.
That night was horrendous, I couldn't get to sleep because my face was so swollen, the pain would not settle and they refused to give me anymore morphine. They did give me extra dihydrocodiene but it really didn't take the edge off.
Day 1 (Wednesday) post op wasn't any better, the pain was still bad and I was starting to feel feverish. I mentioned this to the nurse who then took my temperature which was slightly up so they gave me a fan. As the day went on I was starting to feel worse but they still insisted in discharging me, so I went home. In the early hours of Thursday morning my temperature went up to 38.1C and I couldn't take anymore paracetamol as I already had taken the maximum dose for the day. So as much as I hate doctor's I went to the out of hours which was a big waste of time because they couldn't do anything, they did phone the ward that I had been on but the doctor who was on the ward told me to go home and come back to the dental clinic for 9am. I went back to hospital for 9am, they had a look in mouth and said it didn't look like I had an infection but they were going to give me a weeks worth of antibiotics anyway.
I can not tell you how annoyed I was with the doctor's at dental. The day before I had the surgery I explained that I am very prone to infections (basically every surgical wound gets infected)) and that last time I had my teeth out which was only a couple I developed an infection afterwards but for some reason they thought that I wouldn't get an infection. I get so sick of telling doctor's things. I don't understand why they don't listen to me, I am not like a normal person I have been sick for 16 years and I know how my body reacts to things.
I am so glad that this is all over and I never have to go back and get more teeth removed, unfortunately though this experience has made my fear of hospitals worse and because of that I have cancelled a few hospital appointments because my anxiety has been so bad.
Previous post: Saturday 16th April
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Today was a really good day but at night time disaster struck.
As I mentioned in my previous diary entry/post on Wednesday I ordered 2 wigs, well they arrived today!!! I haven't tried them on yet because my hair is a bit greasy so I would really like to wash it before I try them on but so far I would say they look okay. I also received another order today, when I was on Amazon on Wednesday night I also ordered a 1950's rockabilly dress and a net underskirt for a wedding reception of an old school friend that I have on the 14th March. Below is a picture of the dress that I ordered.
The dress looks as good as it does on the web and as much as my love my Victorian Gothic and Steampunk style I have always wanted to wear a rockabilly swing dress. I do have a couple of other things that I have to sort out, as what shoes do I wear? As much as I love high heels I can't where them at the moment because my legs are too weak and I get a lot of pain from my pelvis so it will definitely have to be flats. I do have a couple of options one pair is a grey skull flats from Iron Fist and the other pair is my purple converse, yes I know they are not the norm but I am sure you all know by now I don't do normal.
So after having a pretty decent day night time brought a big blow in the form of my teeth once again. Tonight was the night that I lost another top front tooth so now I only have one top front tooth left. I knew that this would probably happen at some point but the time timing real does fucking suck, I was so looking to forward to going to this wedding reception but there is no way that I can bring myself to go now.
Previous post - Monday 23rd February
Next post - Sunday 15th March
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So I have made a big decision and a lot of people will think I am mad but I don't care one little bit because I am doing this for my own happiness nobody else's.
As mentioned in the previous post you will remember me saying that I thought my disgusting teeth or should I say that they are! one of the triggers for my depression and agoraphobia, well I have made decision to have them all removed and get myself a full set of false teeth. I have always been one of those people who has struggled with body confidence over the years but thankfully as I have gotten older I struggle less with the body confidence issues. I actually consider myself to be very lucky is some aspects, I have lovely skin and I have a pretty decent stomach considering I have had operations on it but these teeth I cannot stand to look at them.
I have explained this decision to my family and they are very supportive so all I need to do now is find a dentist that will remove the ones that I have left because I have a funny feeling that my current dentist will say no. The dentist that I have at moment always tries to repair my teeth which I don't want and if I do need any removed or should I say roots removed he sends me to the maxillofacial unit at the hospital as he classes me as high risk patient because of all my medical problems. When I have had some teeth "roots" removed at hospital there has never been any issues because I always get a course of antibiotics and antibacterial mouthwash so I don't see why can't he just removed them.
Previous post - Sunday 18th January
Next post - Thursday 3rd February
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I am really, really, really sorry that I have fallen so far behind with my blog posts but I have been dealing with some personal problems that I am not ready to disclose yet and as well as that I have also been sick. :(
Last night was a bad night because depression hit me really hard once again. I normally find it hard to pin point what exactly causes the episodes of depression but this time I have a good idea why.
Number 1 on the list of causes is my teeth. My teeth are absolutely disgusting and I have to say that they are probably one of the main causes of my agoraphobia. Over the past 15 years my poor health, bouts of malnutrition and bad genes has led me to have major teeth issues, every single one of my teeth are rotten and I am currently missing 3 teeth soon to be 4 as one of them is a bit wobbly.
Number 2 on the list is not being able to see my favourite bands. On Thursday (15th Jan) tickets for the Fall Out Boy UK show's went on sale and as per normal my local venue is standing only which of course is not any use to me because I cannot stand for long periods of times. Now don't get me wrong I totally understand why people want to stand but it is extremely unfair for those who love music but can't go to see their favourite bands because there is no seating. Another concert that I wanted to go to was The Script but the only seating that is available is for disabled people. I may have multiple illnesses but I have never classed myself as being disabled plus my illnesses invisible so unless I pull up my shirt then you can't tell that I have medical problems. To me it feels wrong to buy disabled tickets but then I always think to myself how am I ever going to get to concert's at my local venue?
Previous post - Tuesday 12th January
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