Sunday 31st May 2015

This week has been rough to the point that I nearly caved in and phoned the hospital so that shows you how bad things have been because this girl goes no where near a hospital unless I am really unwell or in extreme pain. You would actually think that after 15 and 1/2 years I wouldn't be so freaked out about going into hospital but I will happily admit that I am a big scaredy cat when it comes to going in. 

The main problem that I have been having are related to this stupid small bowel to cervix fistula, it has been leaking a good bit more so I am really hoping that it hasn't opened up a bit more again. It is really horrible when you move because it feels like you have peed yourself and even though people can't see it and can't see that it is leaking I get extremely embarrassed by it. I must always try to remember to stay positive and grateful because there is people in this world who have much worse fistulas then me. I have heard so many horrible stories and met some people who have it way worse and it really upsets me to see and hear what all these people are going through. 


Previous post - Sunday 24th May                                               
                                                                                                     Next post - Monday 8th June

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Tuesday 10th June 2014

So the stupid grumpy guts are still playing up and the IBD nurse has still not phoned me back. I was suppose to go to the IBD clinic on Friday but obviously due to having agoraphobia I couldn't go so I phoned the nurse on Friday to explain that my crohn's is still flaring and I asked if they could change my humria from fortnightly to weekly injections. When I spoke to on her at 8.40am on Friday morning she was just going to clinic and would ask the doctors about getting the humria changed, she said that she would not be able to phone me back on Friday and I said that was no problem but I thought she would have at least phoned me back by now. To be honest I don't know how much longer I can live like this the pain in progressively getting worse and so is the fevers.

My new bedroom furniture arrived yesterday and their was little bit of hiccup, instead of getting the smaller dressing table I had ordered I got the larger one but to be honest the larger one looks a lot better then the small one so I have have decided to keep it. 

All the furniture has been put together and I love it. 

Hopefully I will be able to give the furniture a wipe down tomorrow and then be able to start to put things in the cupboards and drawers. 


Previous post - Friday 6th June

Next post -  Tuesday 24th June

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Friday 6th June 2014

So today as massive weight was lift from my shoulder's.

Today I made it public that I am suffering from agoraphobia. I have been battling with anxiety for years but it turned in to agoraphobia back in April after I was put through an awful lot of stress due to a screwed up oesophageal dilation. It feels really good to get it out in the open as it really was becoming to difficult to hide it from folk (people), I actually feel less stressed now as well.

So since I last wrote my bedroom has finished being painted also the wood work has been paint a cream colour, the new bedroom furniture is being delivered on Monday and someone is hopefully coming next week to measure the window so I can get a cream wooden venetian blind. It's going to be weird sleeping in my bedroom again after sleeping in the living room for the past 3 weeks.


Previous post - Monday 2nd June

Next post - Tuesday 10th June

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Monday 2nd June 2014

This past weekend has been pretty rough and it all started on Friday morning.

I woke up on Friday morning with sore legs and to be honest I just thought I had layin wrong. I woke up on Saturday morning and once again they were sore so I decided to just stay at home and rest instead of going into town because normally if I walk on them when they are like that they end up swelling up and I also develop a red pin prick rash. As the day progressed the grumpy guts aka bowel decided that it wanted to throw a tantrum, it also decided to continue the tantrum on Sunday so I spent the day in bed and didn't get anything productive done this weekend.

All I can say is thank goodness I have the IBD clinic on Friday hopefully they will make the decision this time to up the humria from fortnightly to weekly. They put it off the last time I mentioned at clinic in March because thought it was too soon to up the dose up but now it's 3 months later and nothing has changed so can they really refuse to change me to weekly injections this time.


Previous post - Wednesday 28th May

Next post - Friday 6th June

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Wednesday 28th May 2014

So today was not a good day and it was not the Crohn's that caused it this time.

Today I woke up with crippling anxiety and it was so bad that I couldn't leave the house. I haven't had anxiety this bad since I was in hospital getting the oesophageal dilation done, at least there was a reason for anxiety attacks then but this time there was no reason for it. I am really hoping that this is just a small slip up and that by tomorrow I will fell less anxious.

Today I finally got the phone call I have been waiting for, they are going to be delivering my new bedroom furniture on the 9th June. I cannot wait for it to finished as I am finally going to be getting the bedroom that I have wanted for years.


Previous post - Saturday 24th May

Next post - Monday 2nd June

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Saturday 24th May 2014

So today Crohn's has really been kicking my butt. I have been having these stomach pains since the middle of the week but today they got bad. The pain is in my pelvis so that means it could be adhesions, the fistula or a UTI that's causing the problem, I am leaning more to it being the fistula because there has hardly been any discharge coming from it since the beginning of the week, I really hope there is not some sort of blockage or abscess.

Thankfully Snowball seems to be doing okay after eating all those threads off her toy mouse on Wednesday, she was sick yesterday morning but it's not unusual for her to be sick every once in a while.


Previous post -Wednesday 21st May

Next post - Wednesday 28th May

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Wednesday 21st May 2014

I am so annoyed with  myself today, my cat Snowball has this toy mouse and because she is a bit destructive with her toys she manged to eat about half a dozen threads. Of course when I saw her eating them I immediately shouted NO! and of course when she hears the word no she thinks she is in trouble and takes off, I chased after her of course but by the time I caught her and opened her mouth she had swallowed the threads. I really hope that she is able to pass them because the last thing I want is for her to need an operation because I will never be able to forgive myself, if only I hadn't shouted no I could have got them from her.

So today I finally got my Superdrug (UK drugstore) order after having a few problems with it. Two weeks ago I saw one of my favourite YouTuber's (Siobhan from LetzMakeup) tweet that Superdrug were doing 3 for 2 on all their makeup so I thought to myself I deserve a treat, especially after what happened in April. So as it is now summer I purchased bright coloured makeup such as the Maybelline vivid lipstick's and the colourful Sleek eyeshadow palettes, I also purchased some cream eyeshadow's, blushes and nail polish. I can't wait to try out all the new makeup that I got there is something about playing around with makeup that makes me so happy.


Previous post - Monday 19th May

Next post - Saturday 24th May

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Friday 13th September 2013

So I didn't write yesterday because I felt so rubbish and ended up going to bed at 7.30pm, I  slept for 12 hours straight and then had a 3 hour nap in this afternoon.

Thankfully today I am feeling so much better and I have finally worked out what was causing me the high temperature, sickness and another stuff, it was my the time of the month. I never knew that time of the month could cause you to be so ill, I am so not looking forward to this happening every month.

Yesterday in the mail I got an appointment letter through for seeing my colorectal surgeon, it will be very interesting to see what she says about my non healing surgical wound which I will have had for 5 years at the end of next month. I really can't believe that it will be 5 years next month since I had my first ostomy.

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Wednesday 11th September 2013

Today my temperature finally went back down to 36.6C thank goodness. I am still feel pretty rubbish though but hopefully this is the beginning of me getting better because I really, really, really want to go to London in just over 2 weeks.

Thankfully the piece of pasta that was stuck in my oesophagus shifted last night so today I was able to eat and drink today, I am so gratefaul that it moved because I am mentally not ready to go back to  flushing water through my PEG tunbe every hour for the whole day.

So seeing as I have been unwell for a week I thought I deserved to take advantage of the 10% of beauty and fragrance at Debenhams, I know I shouldn't have because I don't have a lot of money but I always believe that once you have come through a bad period of health you deserve to treat yourself to your favourite things and my favourite things are makeup.

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Tuesday 10th September 2013

I am losing the battle against whatever is causing my temperature. I am not in any pain or feeling sick and there is no sign of a UTI (urinary tract infection) which is the infection that I normally get, my ostomy is working fine, I have no cough or chest pain so that would rule out a chest infection, I am completely stumped.

Today hasn't been a good day for eating either I managed the mince and tatties (potatoes) that I had for my lunch no problem but I had pasta for supper and a piece of pasta got stuck in the oesophageal stricture at the top and as I am writing this it is still stuck there and I am finding it hard to drink.

And the final bad thing is my cat's leg is worse today. :-( She had her 2nd dose of anti-inflammatories this evening so I really hope they start working soon.

All in all today has been a crap day.

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Monday 9th September 2013

I have finally solved the candle issue which hopefully means no more arguing with mum over them. I have found a electric tart burner on the Yankee Candle website.

Now it is not the most attractive thing but if it means I can still have the lovely Yankee Candle scents then I don't care.

Today has been pretty much the same as the other day's health wise accept today I have develop 2 cold sores and an ulcer on my tongue. I don't if I should phone my GI or not because I am really scared that if I do that something will happen like being admitted to hospital and then I won't be able to go to London to see Paramore at the end of September.

So I had to take my kitty cat Snowball to the vet this evening with her sore leg, the vet examined her the best she could and said that Snowball has inflammation in her hip. The vet gave her a 7 day course of metacam but if she is still having problems after she has finished the metacam I will have to take her back to the vet so they can sedate her to get a proper look at the hip and they will also do an x-ray.

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Sunday 8th September 2013

Today has just been the same as the last few days, in bed with a high temperature. I was thinking about phoning the doctor tomorrow but I am going to have to put that on hold because I am going to have to take the cat to the vet because she has hurt her leg.

I really need to get back on track with my fitness regime  next week after doing nothing last week, everybody says to me that I should rest but if I did that every time Crohn's decided to act up I would always be in bed plus I need to get my body in good condition just in case I have to have an operation on my oesophagus.

I have had lots of blog post ideas over the weekend for my Crohn's and beauty blog so that will keep me busy for most of the week as well, I always like it when I have a good number of things to do it distracts me from my poor health.

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Saturday 7th September 2013

Guess what I did today? That's right absolutely nothing, I didn't sleep at all last night so I think my insomnia has decided to come back again. Words can not describe how pissed off I am, I have had a great 3 weeks of proper nights sleep and now it has gone back to the way it was before.

I just realised that yesterday was 4 weeks since my oesophageal dilation and my diet is restricted again. These last few days I have been thinking is it worth while putting my body through the stress of a general anaesthetic and dilation for something that only stays open a couple of weeks. At the moment I don't think it is worth it but that might change in the next couple of weeks once the really bad hunger sets in.

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Friday 6th September 2013

Today I did absolutely nothing because I had a really rubbish night last night and hardly got any sleep plus today I have still been feeling crap. The most exciting thing that happened to me today was that my stoma (ostomy) bag decided to burst again, it wasn't until it burst that I realised that the stoma nurse never did phone me back last Friday. I phoned a week past Thursday and left a message because I wanted to know what I should do about the bursting ostomy bags and I also want to know how I go about getting 2 piece bags because my fellow IBD friends Amy and Charlotte say they are a great type of bag.

Also today I was looking online at some Halloween decoration's to cheer myself and before people say anything yes I know I am 25 and I am not a kid anymore but I just love celebrating any type of holiday. I managed to find this really cool lantern but it is quite expensive at just over £20.

It does look like it is worth the £20 though and I can make it the only Halloween decoration that I buy this year.

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Thursday 5th September 2013

Today has not been a good day, I have been feeling rough all day and it ruined my plans for this evening. I try really hard to not let my illness control my life but today it won, I really hope that this is just a small hiccup and it will only last for a couple of days.

I nearly had a full blown row with mum this afternoon because she told me that if we move house I wouldn't be able to burn candles which is so unfair. I don't want to give up my candles because they are one of the things that I enjoy and burning candles is something that a person with a chronic illness must be allowed to do, I know that it will sound stupid to those who don't suffer from poor health. She said that if I didn't like it I could find my own place, there is nothing that I would like to do more but my finances at the moment do not allow it.

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