So I had my last horse riding lesson before D-Day (dental surgery). I am so glad that I was able to make it this week because after falling off Hamish two weeks ago I really wanted to get back in the saddle before my surgery as I don't know how long I will not be able to ride for after my operation.
Today I got to ride a new pony called Dougal who is a beautiful Highland.
This was my very first time riding a Highland and my first time riding a different pony, in previous lessons I was always ridden Hamish but I was struggling so my riding instructor thought I would be better riding Dougal. They are complete opposites, Hamish is more of a plod a long and because I am still quite weak at the moment it is hard for me to get him going. Dougal on the other hand is so responsive and forward going, the slightest squeeze of the leg and his pace speeds up, the slightest pull on the reins he slows down.
My anxiety and stress levels have been on the rise this week with the upcoming surgery, I have actually been told that the symptoms that I display are like PTSD and yes I have been through some traumatic hospital stays over the years but I don't think I have PTSD.
Thankfully this week my physical health has improved, the stomach cramps, horrendous sickness and elevated temperature have all settled. I was starting to get concerned that they would not do the surgery if I was unwell, I certainly don't want to go back on the waiting list and wait another 7 months.
Previous post: Sunday 10th April
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So I have been quite upset these last few days and it's all due to not being able to have something that could or should I say would make my life better.
If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that a) I live in the UK and b) I suffer from major anxiety issues and have been battling with an anxiety disorder called agoraphobia for over a year now. In the UK there is currently no organisation that trains Psychiatric Service Dogs but this week I discovered an organisation called Service Dogs Europe which is based in the Republic of Ireland but supply highly trained dogs to all of Europe.
You would not believe how elated I was when I found out that they served the UK but my elation was very short lived because when I told my family, who I have to stay with due to financial reasons said I could not have one. It really broke my heart when they said no because I felt that this is the only thing that is going to help me with my anxiety and agoraphobia, you would think someone would be happy and agree to something that is going to make your life better but obviously not. Also it's not like that pet therapy hasn't been proven to help me because since getting my cat Snowball my depression is better, I don't feel so alone anymore and I don't shut myself away in bedroom like I use to.
All I can really hope for is that either they change their mind or I find enough money to move into my own place.
Previous post - Sunday 13th April
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It has been a little while since I last wrote because I ended up getting a stupid cold which in turn set off a Crohn's flare but today was my birthday so nothing to bring down my mood.
This year I turned the grand old age of 27 which sounds like a really nice age to me, if I could stop aging now then that would be great, lol. Each year I normally have to buy my own birthday gifts but this year I didn't have to which was nice because I always love to get a surprise when I open my presents.
Of course a birthday wouldn't be complete without a birthday cake and this year I managed to eat 2 slices of cake :)
I honestly thought that I would not be able to eat any cake this year because at the moment I only seem to be able to eat thin pureed food with no lumps at all but I was really careful when I ate the slices so it went down with no major problems.
Previous post - Thursday 22nd January
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