Let the busy week commence because this week is Christmas week!!! I absolutely love Christmas but jeez those last few days before the day are always the busiest for me. There is so much things that need to be done, presents need to wrapped and the chief baker aka me needs to do her baking. I was originally going to do my baking on Sunday but I changed my mind because there was no way that those little mince pie cakes would last until Christmas day so I have decided to make them on Christmas Eve which is probably a really stupid idea because guaranteed I will have forgotten to buy at least one of the ingredients but hey I like to live life dangerously.
Another good thing about this Christmas is I hardly have to wrap any presents due to everyone buying there own presents this year. I love opening presents but I hate wrapping them because a) my wrapping skills are awful and b) my wee little fingers do not like having to do all that work (I get joint pain). All I have to wrap this year is a present for my mum, my sister and grandma, I normally do wrap up the present that I get for the cat (and yes I am a crazy cat lazy) but her present came in a cardboard box and she loves cardboard boxes so I will just leave in there and she can trail it out of the box herself.
Previous post - Thursday 18th December Next post - Merry Christmas Everyone
You can follow me on:
So since last Friday night I have been having the most horrendous chest pain again, it has got to one of the most horrible things about having oesophageal Crohn's (the other horrible thing is the stricture's). The type of pain that I always get is a crushing pain and it always goes from my diaphragm up to my collarbone but the one funny thing about it is that it doesn't make me short of breath. Maybe it's a good thing that it doesn't make me short of breath because that means that it is definitely not heart or lung related.
At the end of last week, I delivered the Christmas food donation to my local cats protection and I was was very sad to learn that they are completely full. It really does make me very sad to hear that all these cats have no permanent home, without the cat's protection I would never have found the prefect cat for me. I would have another couple of cats in a heartbeat but I live in the family home and even though my parents love Snowball to bits they to do not want any more pets.
So Christmas came early for me this week and I got a Kitchen Aid mixer in the colour that I wanted!!! Crystal Blue.
I have been wanting this mixer for a very, very, very long time now and getting my hands on this baby means I can finally start baking again. I haven't been able to bake for such a long time now because all I had was a 20 year old hand held mixer and for a good while now I haven't had the physical strength to use it (if I did want to bake I had to rely on somebody to help me). I have already decided on two recipes that I am going to make, I plan to make mince pie cakes this weekend and then a Gingerbread Christmas cake for Christmas day. Even though I will not be able to eat the cakes myself I still love to bake, which I know sounds really weird but seeing family and friends enjoy my baking makes me very happy.
Previous post - Thursday 11th December Next post -
You can follow me on:
So the physical health problems are worse but my mental health issues are getting better which for me is the main thing because if my mental health is good it makes fighting the Crohn's and Dysphagia so much easier because I have lots of fighting spirit. About 4 weeks ago I decided to start reducing the dose of my anti-depressants but it's only now that I have started to notice the difference. I am starting to feel much more positive about life which is really good because I was honestly spending most of the time thinking why am I bothering with life, what is the point of life, now if the whole anxiety/agoraphobia issue thing could improve too then I would be extremely happy.
This week has so far been pretty rough with the Crohn's, on Monday I had an even higher stoma output then normal and I was feeling really sick, so sick to the point that I thought about draining off my stomach contents through my PEG tube because having these stricture's obviously means that I cannot be sick in the normal way. In the end I decided not to do it because I thought I am badly dehydrated already and I wasn't gagging or retching so my oesophagus wasn't in any danger of being injured. Thankfully things have slowly improved since Monday but the grumpy guts still like to throw a paddy every now and then.
On Sunday I placed a rather large ordered from Pets at Home and it arrived today which I think was pretty quick for this time of year.
They were doing some great deals so I decided to take full advantage of them. I should probably say that all this food is not for my little furball, it is for my Local Cats Protection but Snowball did think it was all for her, lol.
Every Christmas I like to make a food donation to my local cats protection as a thank you to them because without them I would never have got such a wonderful, loving cat. Without Snowball I would be very lost, she keeps me company when I am feeling ill and she makes me laugh when I feel depressed.
Previous post - Saturday 6th December Next post - Thursday 18th December
You can follow me on:
So this week has been a pretty crappy week and I think it may be time to cave in and pay a visit to the old GI ward. I really, really, really don't want to go because
(a) I hate hospital's
(b) The hospital that I go to is having a lot of bad press lately so I ain't exactly full of confidence
(c) Christmas is just round the corner
(d) They will probably put me on the evil meds that are steroids
(e) I am scared that they will give me a PICC line and put me on TPN because I have lost 10kg in weight.
Why is making these types of decisions are so hard? Why does the thought of going in hospital make me have panic attacks? Why can't life be easy.
So also this week my laptop power cord broke which is just great and it kind of ruined my plans for this week. This week is IBD Awareness Week and I planned to post lots of facts as well as other things about IBD on all my social media sites but I have really been struggling to do it because I am having to use my parents laptop which possibly has to be the worst laptop in the world. I use to complain about my laptop all the time but after using their one I don't think I will ever complain about my again, despite the struggle though I have managed to post at least one IBD fact a day on my twitter, facebook, tumblr, and google+. On Wednesday I did order a power cord from a seller on amazon but it hasn't arrived yet, I am a bit concerned about actually using it but the problem is that I have is Sony do not make computer's anymore so the only place that I could find power cords was amazon or ebay. I was going to buy the cheapest Apple MacBook Pro because I have been wanting one for ages plus they offer financing but the parents where like you should just buy a power cord because you will save yourself so much money which is true but I honestly do think I am going to buy a MacBook Pro at some point because it is much more suitable for the things that I do.
Previous post - Monday 24th November Next post -
You can follow me on:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am still having water work problems!! The stupid thing is my bladder cannot decide on what it's doing, some days it is completely fine and then other days it's very painful to pass urine. Now I know I said that I thought it was caused by the imodium instant tablet that I took but I am actually starting to wonder if it is cystitis (urine infection) because this problem has been going on for over a week now and you would think that if it had been a side effect of the tablet it would have gone away by now. I might just phone the health centre tomorrow and ask for a urine analysis kit and maybe they will give me the standard 3 day course of Trimethoprim (antibiotics).
I really need to get my butt in gear this week and start working through the to do list I have because if I don't I am going to run out of time to do things. I really have to go to Hobbycraft this week to get the things that I need to make Christmas cards for my parents, sister and Grandma. Going to the craft shop is probably going to be a struggle as it will be the furthest that I have been away from home and it will also be the busiest place I have been to since the start of this whole agoraphobia thing. I have to admit that just thinking about doing this scares the shit out of me but I need to push myself to do this because I really need to move forward with my life and I have loads of plans which I can not do at the moment because I can't go out of the house.
Previous post - Thursday 20th November Next post - Saturday 6th December
You can follow me on:
Excuse the bad language but my stupid health is being a complete shit head again and this diary entry is probably going to end up being a complete and utter ramble, so I am sorry about that. I felt really fatigued in the middle of last week to the point I could not function but that was honestly to be expected after I had to look after my sister with special needs from Monday to Wednesday (my parents wanted to go away for a few days). So from Wednesday to Saturday I had to have some relaxing, chill out days because I was really tired.
On the Sunday (16th) I had ran out of my prescribed liquid lopermide which is medication I use to slow down my ostomy/stoma output so I took some imodium instants which is an over the counter medication that I take when I am out and about because I don't like carrying around a bottle of lopermide because a: the bottle is made of glass and b: the bottles have a bad habit of leaking. A few after hours after I took one imodium instant tablet I started to have water works problems (bladder problems). I ended up in a lot of pain, I felt like I needed to pee all the time but I couldn't go and when I did pee it burned really bad. It's now 4 days later, I haven't taken anymore of the tablets but I am still having problems going the bathroom. Who knew that such a little tablet that I have had plenty times before could cause so many problems.
This week I have also had to make an appointment at the health centre with my GP for the 4th of December because I have been having problems with my legs. For the past couple of weeks when I touch my legs they feel pretty numb, it goes all the way for my hips to my ankles but the weird thing is I don't have any problems with my balance and I can feel my legs when I am walking. It really doesn't make any sense to me because you would think that having numb legs would mean I would struggle to bear weight on my legs, I'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says at the appointment.
Previous post - Sunday 9th November Next post - Monday 24th November
You can follow me on:
.jpg)
.jpg)