Today I made a decision and it is probably one of my more crazy ideas but I think it will make a difference to my life, plus I know I will be happier and happiness equals feeling less depressed.
Soooooo I have decided to stop taking the dihydrocodeine pain medication (semi-synthetic opioid pain medication).
I have been taking these pain meds for the past 4-5 years so you can see why this is a crazy idea, especially when I still battle with pain every single day. Why have I decided to stop these pain killers you may ask well the mental and physical side effects of these tablets affect my day to day life and at the beginning of this year I made a promise to myself that I was going to get my life back on track and to do this I need to get rid of my non crohn's medication that have horrible side effects.
Today is day one of getting rid of these stupid tablets, well there not stupid really because they do help with pain but you know what I mean and so far things are going well. This day is probably going to easiest day out of all of them but at the moment I am determined to do this because I know that despite being in more pain then normal that I my life will be better due to the fact I will no longer have to deal with the horrible side effects.
Previous post - Saturday 14th March
Next post - Monday 6th April
You can follow me on:
So it's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote because I ended up going through a bad period of depression once again. If you read my previous blog post then you will know that I lost another one of my top front teeth. It's very safe to say that this has ruined my confidence completely and also my plans to go to a wedding reception, which actually took place last night went out the window.
I get so sick of battling with depression, I may be on a high dose of anti-depressants but they never seem to do anything for me. When I mentioned this to my GP (general practitioner) he suggested that I change from citaolopram to escitalopram (both antidepressants) and I thought to myself is that not basically the same medication? I honestly don't think the change in medication is going to be the answer to my problems because I really only get depressed when my physical health takes a turn for the worst, so if my physical health improves my mental health improves.
I think I am going to a bit of research and see if I can find any other things that might help. There must be some alternative to taking medication that has a load of side effects and interacts with the other meds that I am taking.
Previous post - Saturday 28th February
Next post -
You can follow me on:
Today was a really good day but at night time disaster struck.
As I mentioned in my previous diary entry/post on Wednesday I ordered 2 wigs, well they arrived today!!! I haven't tried them on yet because my hair is a bit greasy so I would really like to wash it before I try them on but so far I would say they look okay. I also received another order today, when I was on Amazon on Wednesday night I also ordered a 1950's rockabilly dress and a net underskirt for a wedding reception of an old school friend that I have on the 14th March. Below is a picture of the dress that I ordered.
The dress looks as good as it does on the web and as much as my love my Victorian Gothic and Steampunk style I have always wanted to wear a rockabilly swing dress. I do have a couple of other things that I have to sort out, as what shoes do I wear? As much as I love high heels I can't where them at the moment because my legs are too weak and I get a lot of pain from my pelvis so it will definitely have to be flats. I do have a couple of options one pair is a grey skull flats from Iron Fist and the other pair is my purple converse, yes I know they are not the norm but I am sure you all know by now I don't do normal.
So after having a pretty decent day night time brought a big blow in the form of my teeth once again. Tonight was the night that I lost another top front tooth so now I only have one top front tooth left. I knew that this would probably happen at some point but the time timing real does fucking suck, I was so looking to forward to going to this wedding reception but there is no way that I can bring myself to go now.
Previous post - Monday 23rd February
Next post - Sunday 15th March
You can follow me on:
Hello my fellow warrior's, I hope you are all doing okay. I just wanted to do an update post to tell you what's been going on and why there hasn't been any blog posts for a wee while.
So basically things have been happening one thing after the other at which is the reason why there hasn't been any activity on here. I am going to be writing catch up posts about everything that has happened over the past month.
Okay that it is it for today's post. Always try to keep strong and positive because you are a superhero, love you all. xx
You can follow me on:
I took the plunge today and ordered 2 wigs. I don't actually think I have ever mentioned this before but guess what! Crohn's has also made me loose a lot of my hair, this illness is a big bitch, it's classed as a digestive disorder so why can't it just effect my digestive system only. Sorry, I totally got off the hair loss subject there.
Okay so back on to my hair, I can only remember one time that my hair was really thin like this and that was when I had the large bowel abscess, active Crohn's disease in every part of my digestive track and was severely malnourished. I am not really sure why it has got this thin again but it has so this time round I have decided to buy a wig. It's taking me about month to make the decision to buy a wig because I didn't want to admit to myself that my hair was that bad and I was that sick again because as you all know by now I don't class myself as sick person and I never want any special treatment. Sorry I have gotten off tangent again. The more I thought about the wigs I started to think they are a really good idea. I love the whole bright coloured hair but I have never had the courage to dye it bright because a) my hair probably wouldn't cope with the bleaching process and b) I change my mind every day because I am such indecisive person, so if I get a few wigs that means that I can alternate my hair colour everyday.
I was originally going to a wig that was over £80 but when I told my mum of my plans she said that maybe I should buy a cheaper wig to start with because what if I didn't like it and I ended up spending all that money on something that would only be used once. Of course she is right so I have went onto a few websites and I finally decided on these two.
I decided on neutral ones to start with because they are the ones that I will probably get the most use out of, the 2nd one is actually really like my own hair. I really do hope they will be okay because some wigs can look really crap.
Previous post - Monday 23rd February
Next post -
You can follow me on:
So over the weekend I developed more pain which really sucks because my mood has continued to improve over the weekend.
The Crohn's in my bowel has decided that it wants to start acting up so now I have sore fingers and a sore stomach, how fun! #sarcasm. Normally when I get a flare up the pain is in my pelvis but this pain is further up beside my belly button and I also have a feeling that I might have stricture somewhere because I have had some changes in my ostomy output which would coincide with a stricture. On Saturday I also had really bad pain in my bones and muscles to the point that it even hurt to yawn, thankfully though the pain improved through the day.
On Sunday my parents were having a bit of a clear out and in the things they were clearing out was my old riding hat.
Finding my riding hat has brought back a lot of good memories, it reminds me of a happier time before all these stupid medical problems and complications happened. I have to admit though finding this hat made me kind of sad as well because I really do miss it. I have contemplated booking myself some riding lessons but due to the amount of pain that I suffer in pelvis, the issues that I have had with the wound at my tail end and the problems with my legs I have never booked one. The thing is I know for certain that horse riding would help with the depression because it's something I enjoy, being out in the fresh air would be good for me and as far as I am concerned anything that involves one of my favourite animals will lift my mood considerable.
Previous post - Friday 20th February
Next post - Wednesday 23rd February
You can follow me on:
I am still battling with the depression but I would say that it is a little bit better now, I really hope it continues to get better but I don't want to get my hopes up too much just yet.
Over the past few days I have noticed that I have been developing a lot of pain in my hands which is not good for a blogger or a crafter. Now this will sound weird but it's kind of good that I have pain in fingers because I have been wondering recently if I had nerve damage in my fingers. For many years now I have had raynaud's phenomenon so I would say that I have never had normal feeling in my extremities but I would say for the last month the numbness has become worse and I find it hard to do fiddly things but having this pain means I can't have that much nerve damage.
This week I finally got round to buying myself a new blender and a juicer.
I have been meaning to buy these things for a long time because the current blender that I have is really struggling with the pureeing but I must say for a cheap blender it has done really well, this time round I have gone for a more expensive one. The one that I have purchased has more power and it crush's ice so I thought this one would be more suitable for pureeing. As I was buying a blender from John Lewis I thought I might as well get a juicer at the same time, buying this juicer will hopefully help me to get extra vitamins into my body as it's always such a struggle for me to get enough vitamins with all the problems that I have.
Previous post - Tuesday 17th February
Next post - Monday 23rd February
You can follow me on:
.jpg)