Monday 24th November 2014

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am still having water work problems!! The stupid thing is my bladder cannot decide on what it's doing, some days it is completely fine and then other days it's very painful to pass urine. Now I know I said that I thought it was caused by the imodium instant tablet that I took but I am actually starting to wonder if it is cystitis (urine infection) because this problem has been going on for over a week now and you would think that if it had been a side effect of the tablet it would have gone away by now. I might just phone the health centre tomorrow and ask for a urine analysis kit and maybe they will give me the standard 3 day course of Trimethoprim (antibiotics).

I really need to get my butt in gear this week and start working through the to do list I have because if I don't I am going to run out of time to do things. I really have to go to Hobbycraft this week to get the things that I need to make Christmas cards for my parents, sister and Grandma. Going to the craft shop is probably going to be a struggle as it will be the furthest that I have been away from home and it will also be the busiest place I have been to since the start of this whole agoraphobia thing. I have to admit that just thinking about doing this scares the shit out of me but I need to push myself to do this because I really need to move forward with my life and I have loads of plans which I can not do at the moment because I can't go out of the house.


Previous post -  Thursday 20th November                                                                                                                                                                        Next post - Saturday 6th December

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Thursday 20th November 2014

Excuse the bad language but my stupid health is being a complete shit head again and this diary entry is probably going to end up being a complete and utter ramble, so I am sorry about that.  I felt really fatigued in the middle of last week to the point I could not function but that was honestly to be expected after I had to look after my sister with special needs from Monday to Wednesday (my parents wanted to go away for a few days). So from Wednesday to Saturday I had to have some relaxing, chill out days because I was really tired.

On the Sunday (16th) I had ran out of my prescribed liquid lopermide which is medication I use to slow down my ostomy/stoma output so I took some imodium instants which is an over the counter medication that I take when I am out and about because I don't like carrying around a bottle of lopermide because a: the bottle is made of glass and b: the bottles have a bad habit of leaking. A few after hours after I took one imodium instant tablet I started to have water works problems (bladder problems). I ended up in a lot of pain, I felt like I needed to pee all the time but I couldn't go and when I did pee it burned really bad. It's now 4 days later, I haven't taken anymore of the tablets but I am still having problems going the bathroom. Who knew that such a little tablet that I have had plenty times before could cause so many problems. 

This week I have also had to make an appointment at the health centre with my GP for the 4th of December because I have been having problems with my legs. For the past couple of weeks when I touch my legs they feel pretty numb, it goes all the way for my hips to my ankles but the weird thing is I don't have any problems with my balance and I can feel my legs when I am walking. It really doesn't make any sense to me because you would think that having numb legs would mean I would struggle to bear weight on my legs, I'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says at the appointment. 


Previous post -  Sunday 9th November                                                                                                                                                                            Next post - Monday 24th November

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Sunday 9th November 2014

So I spent most of my weekend trying to write a Christmas/Birthday list as it has come to that time of year where everyone wants to know what I want for Christmas. The thing is there is only one thing that I want for Christmas and that is a dog, a collie dog to be precise but the parents don't want any more pets so I am just going to have to wait until I get a place of my own and goodness knows when that will be. I know at the moment it looks very unlikely that I will ever have my own place to live as my career prospects don't look promising at the moment because the Crohn's and dysphagia doesn't not look like it is going to go away any time soon but I will never give up on my dream having my own house a collie dog. 


Previous post -  Thursday 6th November                                                                                                                                                                     Next post - Thursday 20th November

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Thursday 6th November 2014

So this week it is Leona 1 - Agrophobia 0. 

If you read my previous blog post you will know that I planned to go to the organised fireworks in the city, well I am very pleased to say that I managed to go. I may have sat in the car the whole time but that is not the point I managed to get of the house for over an hour and it's the furthest I have been away from the house (13 miles from home) since I came out of the hospital on 11th of April. I did find it extremely nerve racking, my legs turned to jelly and I was sweating like a pig but my desire to see the fireworks out weight the desire to be safe and stay at home. 

Going to the display meant that I was able to try out my new Canon 70D for the very first time. I did get some really  good photos but some of the other ones were a bit blurred but considering it was the first time using the camera and I was using it in the dark I got more good photos then I was expecting.

To see all the photographs that I took then click on this link - http://goo.gl/7CFg2L

I am really glad that I pushed myself through my anxiety/agoraphobia barrier because I really did enjoy it and I actually think I would have been very upset if I hadn't pushed myself to go. 


Previous post -  Tuesday 4th November                                                                                                                                                                          Next post - Sunday 9th November

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Tuesday 4th November 2014

So things finally picked up for me mood wise since I  last wrote, I no longer feel depressed and I have got my old fighting spirit back. 

The grumpy guts are still playing up, I still have that pain on the right hand side that goes from above my ileostomy down to my hip. I am really starting to wonder if the pain is were the adhesion's are, I forgot to ask my GI doctor where they were when he told me about them. 

Tomorrow I have set myself a challenge and that is to go to the city and see the firework display that they put on for Bonfire Night, I have actually only ever missed one of display's and I would really like to keep it that way. Now you may be thinking how are you going to go to a very crowded place well I'm not, every time I go to the display I find a place to park the car that has view of the fireworks then sit in the car and watch them. It sounds very simple and easy to me at the moment but by tomorrow my brain will be thinking about the worst possible situations and then I will probably think that staying at home is what I should do because it's a safe place. 


Previous post - Tuesday 28th October                                                                                                                                                                          Next post - Thursday 6th November

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Tuesday 28th October 2014

So since I last wrote things went really down hill with my physical health and it badly affected my mental health. 

The day after I wrote I ended up having a pretty bad Crohn's flare (because I have a bad form of crohn's I normally have some sort of flare everyday) which resulted in me having severe pain on the right hand side that went from above my ileostomy down to my hip. As well as the stomach pain I had really bad crushing chest and collar bone pain, for me the chest pain is always the worst, I really hate how my chest feels like it's being crushed because it's bloody scary. 

Due to having these physical health problems my mental health took a bit of a nose dive again. Saturday and Sunday were the worst days because I kind of lost the will to fight, which in turn meant I stopped taking care of myself properly. What didn't help the situation was those sleeping tablets, I shouldn't have taken them and I will probably never ever take them because they ended up giving me terrible nightmare's and I also kept seeing spiders which was absolutely horrible. 


Previous post - Thursday 23rd October                                                                                                                                                                    Next post - Tuesday 4th November

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If you have any questions feel free to email me at crohnsquine@gmail.com 

or tweet me at @mycrohnslife