Thursday 23rd October 2014

This week has been a mixed bag but more good things have happened then a bad so that a positive in itself. 

At the beginning of the week I had a mini meltdown due lack of sleep, so on Tuesday I bit the bullet and asked my GP (primary care physician) for some a couple of sleeping tablets. He ended up giving me a weeks supply of zoplicone which really doesn't work for me as they stop working after two doses and they also give me hallucinations, thankfully though the hallucinations are not as bad as the Ketamine pain medication ones. I did get those couple of good nights sleep that I had been badly wanting so now I am not as over tired but I still need to get a lot more sleep. When I was also on the phone to him I told him how every time I ordered a repeat prescription it said I needed to attend a review appointment at the health centre, so he sorted that issue out as well.

So yesterday I received my new camera, the Canon 70D. 

I cannot tell you how happy I am to have this baby in my possession. :) :) :) I also got an excellent deal with my camera, it came with a free canon camera bag, which will fit my new camera and two lenses and I also got a 32GB extreme SD card. 

Normally the bag and SD card would cost £88.99 but I got it for free which brill because I need a bag and SD card to put this camera in. 

Previous post - Sunday 19th October                                                                                                                                                                          Next post - Tuesday 28th October

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Sunday 19th October 2014

By Friday all my new Halloween decorations arrived so I spent most of Friday putting them up. Now you may be thinking to yourself how can it take you most of the day to put up decorations in one room well when you are suffering badly with a chronic illness everything takes you twice as long to do. As soon as I start doing anything at the moment I start to feel sick and I also go from being constantly freezing cold to pouring with sweat but never mind about my health my Halloween decorating turned out great I actually think that this is best bit of Halloween decorating I have ever done. 

Also today I finally took the plunge and bought something that I have been wanting for a very, very, very long time now and that is the Canon 70D DLSR camera. I have been wanting to upgrade from my 550D for a while now because the 70D is a higher spec then my old DLSR but at over £800 it's a bit expensive. The thing is over the last 7 years I have come to realise that life is short and you only have one life so you need to do what you want now because when your time comes you don't want to look back at your life and have regrets. 


Previous post - Wednesday 15th October                                                                                                                                                                      Next post - 

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Wednesday 15th October 2014

So since my last diary entry things have been up and now, especially with my grumpy guts. I have developed this pain on the left hand side above my ostomy/stoma and also sometimes my bowels or should I say bowel feels really clogged up. In normal circumstances I would think I have some sort of obstruction but how can I have an obstruction when I don't eat any solid food. It honestly doesn't make any sense but when does anything make sense when it comes to my health problems, in the words of doctor's I am complicated. 

Today I had my 2nd assessment appointment with the Occupational Therapist and it went as well as the first one did, we talked some more about the things I have phobias of, which is surprise, surprise is hospital's and medical tests. Also today we discussed what goals I would like to achieve and I also mentioned how I thought the medication that I was on wasn't making any difference to my anxiety and depression. So the outcome of the appointment was that I am to start desensitization, I have know I idea what it is about but she did give some material to read on desensitization.

As well as the desensitization she is going is going to arrange an appointment for me to see the community psychiatrist so that I can get the medication that I am on reassessed so maybe I will get something that actually works. The final thing we discussed was going out of the house, so next Thursday she is going to come and I am going to attempt to go out in the car, which is going to be very interesting. I think the key thing for me to do is not over think the situation but I am one of these people who does over think situation's and worries about what could possibly go wrong.



Previous post - Monday 6th October                                                                                                                                                                      Next post - Sunday 19th October

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Monday 6th October 2014

Apologies for this diary entry being posted late but I have been struggling with my physical health and I have also had really bad brain fog these last few days so I am really sorry if this post doesn't make sense in places.  

The depression has seemed to have past and I am feeling a bit happier and more positive now. I always find it really difficult at this time of year because a lot bad things have happened to me in October so it always brings back a lot of bad memories plus I also think I have a touch of seasonal affective disorder.

So today was my first session with the occupational therapist and it went really well, she is a really lovely, friendly Irish woman so I felt totally at ease when I was speaking to her. The plan that the community mental health team have at the moment is for the occupational therapist to do 2-3 assessment appointments and then she will go back and speak to the psychologist, they will then decide on which form of treatment I will need but because I am already on anti depressants and beta blockers it will probably be something like cognitive behavioural therapy or counselling.  

As I said the appointment went really well and I think that is probably due to the fact that she understands about anxiety problems and depression, unlike my GI team who do not seem to have a clue. It really helps to speak to somebody who has some knowledge of these types of issues because it makes you feel a lot less stupid, sometimes when you speak to people who have never had any experience with anxiety or depression they make you feel stupid and even in some cases they like to make fun of your problems which is just plain nasty. 



Previous post - Thursday 2nd October                                                                                                                                                                Next post - Wednesday 15th October

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Thursday 2nd October 2014

So since I last wrote (Thurs 25th Sept) nothing much has really changed I am still struggling with my mood and the extra stress that I am being put under is not helping matters plus my grumpy guts are starting to play up now because of the stress.

So on Tuesday I got another letter from the GI clinic with another appointment for the 20th of October. I have already told them a few times now that I have agoraphobia and I said that I will either phone my GI's secetary or IBD nurse to tell them when I am able to go to appointments again but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears. The other doctor that I am having issues with is a new GP who has recently joined the health centre that I go to. This GP keeps putting notes on any prescriptions that I order saying that my review appointment is over due but it's not. My review appointment was due on the 24th June so on the 26th June I had a phone appointment (as I couldn't go out of the house) with the GP that I regularly see, we discussed the issues that I was having with my anxiety, depression and Crohn's and he told me to say on the same medication that I was on. I really would wish this new GP would mind their own business especially as I have never seen them before. 

One good thing that has happened since I last wrote is I got my Debenhams order on Saturday.

Last week Debenhams was doing 10% off all beauty and fragrance so I decided to take full advantage of the discount plus I thought to I deserve to treat myself to something that makes me happy after all the crap I have had to deal with recently. I always suffer from criticism when I buy make up, every body's like you have enough makeup already, you are never going to use it all but this is my hobby, it's what I love and it's make me happy so I am going to continue buying it.


Previous post - Thursday 25th September                                                                                                                                                                  Next post - Monday 6th October

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